I had a pretty epic week by having the Valentine’s Day to end all Valentine’s Days. Wednesday night, I decided to call my mom since I was mulling over my life and the various options that have been presented to me. At the moment, I am awash with opportunity and need to make quite a few choices in regards to work, life, education… pretty much everything.
I received a pretty great job offer and was pretty close to accepting it, when I had a little crisis about my life. I’ve been putting so many projects, ideas and other paths on hold for the sake of monetary stability. Yes, I’ve learned quite a bit last year; yes, it was a great idea considering the circumstances of my recent past. But this attitude, this attempt to regroup, made me forget that I never chose this kind of a life. When I decided to study art, I knew I was choosing a harder option. I knew that my life would not look like the one’s my parents and most of the people I knew from home have chosen to lead. I never wanted the easy way. So after what will go down in history as the hardest year of my life, I decided to choose something easier, something more stable. And at the beginning, while I was still learning it as okay, but it still wasn’t right.
So back to my mom. Sometimes it takes just one person saying just the right thing to make everything click into place. And on Wednesday, my mother not only was the voice of reason but the voice of my own conscious. I can’t even completely recount what she said to me, but I realized during the course of Thursday, that her unwavering confidence in me, my work and my goals pushed me out of my indecisiveness and into action on all fronts.
I woke up Thursday morning still completely apprehensive about whether or not I should follow my gut and stop taking the safe routes, but I decided to stay the course anyway. Which inevitably lead me to have a really fantastic day. I was unstoppable and it only worked because I decided to stop lying to myself and take more risks.
Here’s what I did:
1. I finally manned up and expressed my feelings to my crush. Maybe it was because it was early, I was running late and had the option of a quick get away, but I finally did it and I feel completely relieved.
2. Chatted up a sweet cabbie who not only wished me luck at the Ausländerbehörde, but stopped the meter to save me a bit of money on the trip there.
3. I finally got my residency visa, simply by going to the appointment I almost canceled. What should’ve taken weeks and cost upwards of 250 euro, took 5 minutes and 85 bucks instead. I will never have to fill out paperwork for the immigration office ever again.
4. I turned a job offer and put the opportunity of writing my PhD first. I was completely honest about why and the news was received extremely graciously and was offered the opportunity to stay in touch in case my path would change.
5. Sent out a proposal for a presentation at a Conference on Museums and Inclusion. I’ve always felt a bit lacking on the academic credentials front to participate in such events, but decided to put my hat in the ring anyway.
The rest of the week was uneventful by comparison.